If only one could
To turn off the mind
For a day and a year
Or just an hour in kind,
Always the same thoughts
Caress the very brink,
I’m too exhausted
Too drained to think.
Beyond hate and the joy
In search of pleasure and life
Only sadness upon sadness
The isolation – this strife.
I’m not good, not bad
Not wrong, not right
Where’s the end to this tunnel,
No sign of the light.
People are afraid
They know not what to say
I don’t sleep at night
And don’t function by day;
Often just dismissed
Depressions’ an excuse
I still offer no resistance
For to feel, to feel of no use.
The Practitioner was patient
But had little to add,
Do you think about suicide
Because you are sad?
I’m on the good councillor’s
Long waiting list
Use drugs and alcoholic
So what else have I missed?
I take the pills to control
My melancholic mood,
But I still sinking further
Still off my bloody food.
Other people will never
Really know
Just how deep
How very deep you can go?
I’m sightless to the plot
With such scattered clues
And it seems life’s shy
To offer any good news;
I need escape from my mind
The circling badness,
I pray for hope
Relief, from the sadness.
