Here is the story of Mr Edward Bile
Creepy man with an eerie smile,
Brought a Barrett-box in Haywards Heath
Has a brother in law, by the name of Keith.
Never liked much, the snitchy kid in school.
Obey every instruction, maintain every rule;
And still the format hardly changes
Boring nerd boy, middle class Rangers.
Incessantly desperate, anything to please us
Now born again, when he found Jesus,
Mesmerised by – an evangelical cult
So suited Edward Bile, for an acidic result.
Worshipped management, with no back bone
Product of the system, another bank clone.
Colleagues would laugh, the fun they’d poke
Called him Captain Charisma – for a joke.
Now people in the office, who he did not like
Their chances of surviving, he would spike
He’d creep to the boss, all sneaky with tails
How a co worker, had gone off the rails.
He quietly fabricate loathing, to just about all
Against foreigners, traffic, the shopping mall;
His wrath would boil as he would brood
Over anything petty, he’d initiate a feud.
Plotting his forte, what would colleagues say?
Such miss trust, another office cliché;
Rigid and creepy, he’s bereft of style
Quick to rage and seldom to smile.
So abysmally free – of any personality
Complete the charade, masking brutality
He met his perfect wife, while at work
Two beautiful kids were an excellent perk;
But festering dark secrets, yet nothing is said
Children seem burdened and still wet the bed;
Their nightmares, are drawn from real life
Like when daddy chased mommy, with a horrible knife!
Such a family facade, always happy and polite
The bruises on her neck say something’s not right,
His wife was called Useless or sometimes Rita
Oh! Christ, how vicious – he would treat her.
He would chase her around, the accursed house
She would scurry about like a wounded mouse;
True believer in an after life, removes all guilt
Then forget the hurt – plus the blood that’s spilt.
Scared of the marriage must be her sin
Day after day – she sinks the gin;
She whimpers as she gulps a bottle down
Before the school run, a drive across town.
To fury about his family and others dismissed
His gallbladder expanded to the size of a fist,
With animosity to muster – creates a burden so heavy
He would pay a high price, the ultimate levy.
Floored a personality, with a misguided creed
And his paranoia loaded, with frustration to feed,
Inside a monstrous protuberance grew
With little insight, so no one else knew.
His intestinal tract become clogged with hate
Left doubled up in pain, but was all too late.
His bitterness and anger, had build up inside
Until one day, he gurgled – exploded and died.
Call the mortuary men to collected what‘s left
Mrs Bile smiled, now that she was bereft;
Oh! Dear look just above, where he was sitting
Is that a piece of pancreas, on the light fitting?
A dysfunctional personality at home or work
In truth our Edward was a bully and a jerk,
Whether management reports or statistical chores
Know him or her well, at a desk near yours.
