Grave
I rose delicately and so fashionably late from slumber
Down cosmopolitan St James I did strut, nay lumber.
A good day maybe, a strange day undeniably!
Gone for now was the culpability, the dark frustration
Emotions burden so heavy – drives one to damnation.
Had an eerie feeling I been demoted
to an extra in my own life drama.
But fluffed my lines, so much for
method acting induced kama;
Of my special little secrets – sybaritic to a fault.
It’s the talk of the town, like a celebrity cull
Even made the editorial lead – in the Daily Dull,
Then relaxed with satisfaction in New Steine Gardens
Browsing the small ads for second hand bargains.
So I bought an Ariane rocket – to lift me off the planet
Launched from Southend pier, but latter crashed in Thanet.
Trying survival on the outside or just peering in
But without the Candy, where would one begin.
Eat breakfast at Bella; I sit in the window clear
Surely I’m not – the only lunatic here………….?
Watching out now, I’m writing my Notes
And smile at the candidates while vying for votes
To repeat the mistakes of doctrine engrained
So what ever benefit, what point can be gained?
I’ll form my own Party – called “Just be nice”
Or settle for the beans Oh, and the sticky rice.
Think I’m happy,
Avoid the psychological mount of a mental cluttered past
Wondering “will the flashes of pure truth – ever really last?”
Even smiled and waved at shoppers passing by
Watching invincible mind clouds open to a joyful sky,
Still not completely plugged in and certified as dappy
Call this awareness? Yes why not – today I’m happy,
Ignoring blandness and banality, but they are so innately rife
Once more thrust into the amdram production called ‘life’
Forever cumbersome in the pedestrian environment.
So now I trudged seawards, crunching and striding
Cross pebbles – subsiding.
I’m sliding back, I know the feeling well
As the tide it did bloat – it did spit and did swell,
I inflated myself to a proud and defiant stance – Then
bellowed at the sea “I command you – come no further”
Some eccentric behaviour is best to forget
Just for now or because I’m soaking wet;
Made the acquaintance of a gull most curious
Who did defend his tit bits, indeed most furious.
Pointlessly dwelling on the purpose of existence.
Must give that chummy some golly good thinking time
Or accept its futility – with ineffectual shallow rhythm,
A warm sun twinned with a light fresh breeze
And my thoughts now are as clouds – floating with ease.
Well, is that’s nature’s enthusiasm?
But that was just one day of grateful innocence at play
That’s good, I sighed – keeps the morbid gloom at bay.
I see a silky horizon of many colours and I breathe deeply
Pondering options for situations that amuse me cheaply;
Like peering through a crack in The Theatre of Melancholy
I’m as happy as the Pepper Pot, a local noteworthy folly.
Glaring so intently – until ones eyeballs are sore
Then wrestled my flummoxed emotions back home
from the shore.
Too much time spent – wearing fear like an old favourite
distressed cardigan.
Unpleasantly comfortable in emotional pain, even buoyant
in the knowledge that fate will, inevitably deliver – more bags
of faeces and frustration, tomorrow. Or the next day…………
