Mockney
Long days spend on the concrete plains
High on coke and free from the reigns;
Would attack and mug with little excuse
They’re bad, they’re mad and on the loose.
Lady Dotty, her home boys and her terrier too
The dog’s called Kroto – it’s the Croydon crew,
DJ Lyon and a psycho known as Scary
Plus violent drunk Tinny, so crude and larey!
Recognized by red trainers, that she would wear
Damage and abuse – attract the neighbour’s stare;
A dream girl or dragon, the boys they’re chasing
While sweet Lady Dotty, she enjoys freebasing.
An East estate pensioner is me target she said
Living on her cash, we’ll stay well feed.
Tinnie came armed, with his Special Brew
Lyon woofed his Bazooka, off with the crew.
Switchblade-wielding-Scary, was a twitching skag clown
Watching Lady Dotty while she con worked the town.
It’s a standard smash and grab – a job without a hitch
She’s been slagged me off on Twitter, what a horrible witch!
I’ll be the one, I’ll go and knock on the door
Pretend to tell her a secret, about something I saw;
She is an old lady – so timid, meek and placid
We’ll all bash at once, to rendered her flaccid.
See me gangster moves then smashed her with a plank
Blooded frailty incarnate, to her knees she sank;
Now the job is done, see potty Dotty purr
Christ what a mess? Looks like a house fell on her!
Damage everything, for life should be a laugh
The law will never know, not even by half;
With Mrs East now slain, with such grotesque violence
The four wrecked the flat – then left in silence.
The action excited, she needs attention from boys
But only Tins and Lyon were gratification toys;
Cos Scary had syphilis – from all that he had hoed
Keep that schlong away from me, you jell-O prink toad.
While Dotty tells social worker, of her caring personally
He’s too posh and too stupid, too see the true reality!
As to the pensioner’s death – she saw the episode as funny
She’s really non compos mentis, with lovely bags of money.
Existing in the jungle, Croydon like Hades
I’m a super slick bird, who likes killing old ladies;
She explained to the boys, well its violence so pure
Its population limitation control – and we’re the cure!
Oh! Endearing Dotty, her intentions are clear
Flush with crispy cash to purchase quality gear,
Catch up with the man, yeah Ozzy had allure
Deals a handsome bag, of sweet harvest so pure.
I’m hungry said Tinny, demanding a kebab
So Scary tossed Kroto, onto a burning slab.
Call them brutal – gang members for a trill
And poor old Kroto, was soon a mixed grill.
In the passage of time the law came calling
Described the crimes, as “totally appalling”
A most vicious murder, was completely shocking
Brings huge crowd to court, in droves came flocking.
When asked about the savings, from an old tea caddy
Just hearsay Your Honour, Can I call you daddy?
But the boys forced my hand……. to ring the door bell
Those munchkin fuckers, Yeah? And it all when to hell!
They made me take drugs, I thought I would scream
With such flabby defence – could have been a dream?
The fantasy stories abound, yet they carried no weight
Her murky past laid bare and not a minute too late.
The righteous psychologist – in court now said
She’s alive and her victim, the poor woman’s dead.
So Dotty was barking, and up the wrong tree
With little time returned, the verdict of guilty.
Enjoy the exhilaration, the job was primeval
For Lady Dotty is cruel, mad, bonkers or evil?
It’s all bad press – her defence council knew
As Lady went down, “big up the Croydon crew”!
