A crutch by any other name, society provides the tools
With options to double up – is breaking all the rules;
Counter those first date nerves with Cider & Morphine
Pursue the love ritual with Whisky & Codeine;
Lengthy evening at home – need Sambuca & Benylin
With daily work enhanced by Amyl & Gin.
At the speed ball of life, take what you need
Binge too excess, there’s an ego to feed?
Hitting the town on Absinthe & Lucy
It’s Tequila by the bucket, so let’s get juicy!
Use Amphetamine for study, shoulder to the plough
Go crazy bonkers mad – on the powdered Meow,
Impress glittery people with Vodka & Speed
Show off to the assembled its Champagne & Weed.
Job interview impressions are important they say
Teetering on a chair, do you flounder and sway?
Many a miserable morning with hangover most grim
The toilet’s repugnant stench – with vomit to the brim,
You know you need that Aftershock
& Crystal Meths that makes you rock.
Try that Merlot moment, time left to sip
Maybe liquid crack, feed direct through a drip;
On the pull in a club, so short of things to say?
Thank heavens for candyflipping and MDMA,
Sneaking at work, cans of Special Brew
Founder member of – the office drinking crew.
Lunch time tipple, pints of strong ale
See the staggering fool, now out on bail.
Top o’ toilet cistern, Marchin’ powder by the line
Or Morphine cigarettes with copious red wine.
Could never been taken – too seriously
While smashed on cider and BZP,
Life’s’ never as good, as it now seems
Just left with recipes, for broken dreams.
With partners and jobs now lost history
Life self destruction, well its no mystery.
Scraping the last specks of Charley from the table top
Checking old Whisky bottles, to drain the final drop.
When passing clean out during daylight
Was it the shit, or were you in a fight?
Losing whole days, where would it lead
Just blame it on – that wicked Dutch weed.
Embarrassing antic, still sloshing around
Pitiful sight, crashing to the ground.
Plus the unexpected which you may dread
Wake up broken, in a hospital bed.
But come the on set – of liver disease
Somewhat of a shock, if you please;
Herpetologist referral – consultation hired
Now a bloody miracle, is just what’s required.
Understanding thus, when left too late
You forgot to check, your sell by date,
A liver wizened to a crusty scab
The very last hangover, on a mortuary slab.
Binge to excess, a crutch or a cage
Temperance alternative – of aftermath rage,
From the gear and piss become a escapee
Could binge on crumpets, yes crumpets and tea.
Will you dry out tomorrow, yes – before it’s too late?
Or just order half’s and avoid the drunken state.
Then pop off for last orders, to the Lazy Toad
Cos its one at the bar and another for the road.
So live life fast, indulge and enjoy the induced state
Not tethered with regrets, accept the unforgiving fate;
We are free choose – if to stay constantly mashed
But complain not now, when your chips are cashed.
